september is suicide prevention month and september 10 is world suicide prevention day
we are a beauty brand. we are aware of how easy it would be to say something warm here, attach it to a product, and move on
but we are going to try to be more useful than that
if you need help right now
you do not have to read the rest of this
- ✦ 988 // call or text // the suicide and crisis lifeline // free, confidential, 24 hours a day // you can also chat at 988lifeline.org
- ✦ text TWLOHA to 741741 // crisis text line // if talking out loud is not possible right now
- ✦ the trevor project // 866-488-7386 // for lgbtq+ young people
- ✦ trans lifeline // 877-565-8860 // peer support run by and for trans people
- ✦ twloha's find help tool // search free or reduced cost counseling near you by zip code
if you are outside the us, twloha keeps an international resources list
none of these are a last resort // people call them on ordinary bad days // you do not have to be in the worst moment of your life to be allowed to use them
what a ritual can do
this brand is built on the idea that small repeatable acts of care change something // we believe that // it is the whole reason aether veil exists
a daily ritual gives you a fixed point // it puts one thing in the day that is not asking you to produce anything // it marks time when time has gone shapeless // and because scent files directly into memory it can hand you back a version of yourself you may have lost along the way
what a ritual cannot do
it cannot treat depression
it cannot substitute for a therapist, a doctor, medication, a crisis line, or another person who knows what is happening with you
a body oil is not a mental health intervention and we are not going to pretend it is
we are saying this plainly because the wellness industry has spent a decade blurring that line, and the blur does real harm // it teaches people that if they just built a better morning routine they would be fine // so when the routine does not fix it, they conclude the failure is theirs
it is not // some things need actual help and needing that help is not a shortfall of discipline
a ritual is a good thing to have alongside treatment // it is a bad thing to have instead of it
why this brand talks about this at all
this part is from ashley, who started cosmic syrup
i was a teenager at warped tour the first time i saw to write love on her arms
it was the first time in my life i had come across anybody talking about mental health out loud // not in a pamphlet // not in a counselor's office with the door shut // in a field full of people my own age, at a table where the whole point was that struggling is a thing you are allowed to say // and that if you said it, someone would hand you a resource instead of a reason to be embarrassed
i have followed them ever since // that is the entire reason i chose them and not some other organization // they were the first signal
and it was not an accident that i found them there
that environment was where that conversation was already happening // the music we grew up on went straight into the emotional register and stayed there // it did not flinch and it did not hand you a tidy ending // it just said the feeling out loud, at volume, in a room full of people who recognized it
a lot of us in that community are empaths // sensitive // we feel things all the way down and we always have // and we learned early to put it into music // we were healing through songs long before any of us had language for what was actually wrong
twloha came out of exactly that world // it started in 2006 as a myspace page // a story one guy wrote about a friend who needed treatment that nobody could pay for, and shirts sold to cover the cost // it moved through the scene that raised us because that scene was already talking about this when almost nothing else was
and the person who made it land for me was hayley williams of paramore
i remember seeing her wearing twloha // headbanging in front of a wall of large orange amps // she was one of a very small number of women fronting anything at that level in a scene that was overwhelmingly men, and she was open about her own mental health // not carefully, not in a prepared statement, just openly // she has stayed open about it in all the years since
for a teenage girl standing in that field, that did more than everything else combined // the person standing in front of thousands of people, who is also my age, was a woman saying it out loud // it did not look like weakness up there // so it stopped feeling like weakness in me
and here is the part i did not put together until much later
music and scent are the only two things that work quite like that // they can both skip language completely // they do not make you explain yourself first // a song from that era drops you back into being seventeen in a parking lot // scent does the same thing and it does it faster
that scene taught a lot of us to process feeling through a sense instead of a sentence // and that is the thing i built this company on
cosmic syrup exists because of burnout // that is the honest answer to the founder question // not a market gap // burnout, the slow erosion of self that nobody names until they are already on the other side of it
and the thing that helped was not another book about optimizing // it was building small daily acts of care that did not ask for anything back // while also seeking therapy
i have had my own share of anxiety and burnout and depression // i am married with three young kids // and sometimes thoughts pop into your head that you wish weren't there // what matters in those moments is whether you have access to tools and to people
the more openly we talk about our darkest moments the more light gets let in // that is the whole mechanism // isolation is not incidental to any of this, it's how it operates // it works by convincing you that you are the problem and that you should handle it quietly
being a scorpio, i'm insanely comfortable being alone // but maybe to a fault // luckily, my partner has patiently been there every step of my journey to walk alongside me as i try to once again find the light // but i know that not everyone has their roots planted in such a deep, stable foundation
so the most important thing you can do for yourself is ask for help before the darkness gets consuming // i resonate in moonlight more than sunlight // but if you keep the light and warmth out for too long // the isolation creeps in and if you're anything like me // i need that warmth to bring me back
you are allowed to reach for help while things still look manageable from the outside // that is not an overreaction // that is the entire reason twloha exists
who twloha is
what began as that myspace page is now a nonprofit dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self injury, and suicide // to write love on her arms has been doing this work for twenty years, which is longer than most beauty brands have existed
what they actually do, concretely
- ✦ a therapy scholarship that pays for counseling for people who cannot afford it
- ✦ the find help tool, a searchable directory of free and reduced cost care
- ✦ free weekly peer support groups that meet virtually
- ✦ a mental health toolkit of guided practices and worksheets
- ✦ showing up on campuses and at events so that people are not doing it alone
their campaign this september is called one person lost by suicide is one too many // you can support it directly here.
how our partnership actually works
a portion of every aether veil purchase goes to twloha
it is built into the cost of the product // not a round up at checkout // not a percentage of a limited edition // not a thing we switch on in september and switch off in october // you do not have to opt in and you cannot opt out // it is structural
we are telling you this in the one month when it would be easy to make it a campaign, and we are specifically not making it a campaign // there is no suicide prevention month product // no special bundle // no percentage that goes up for thirty days and quietly goes back down
this month is when the rest of the world is paying attention // it is not when our contribution starts and it is not when it stops
it was there in june when we launched // and it will be there for as long as this company sells anything // awareness has a month but the need for hope never stops
if you are worried about someone else
we are not the people who should be telling you what to say // that guidance belongs to the people who actually do this work, and it exists, and it is free
go to twloha // they have spent twenty years on exactly this question and they are better at it than we will ever be
and 988 is not only for the person who is struggling // you can call or text simply because you are worried about somebody else and do not know what to do next
you do not have to be qualified to be present // but you also do not have to figure out the rest of it alone
the reason it is in the brand and not in a campaign
we built this company around the idea that self care is rebellion // in a world that asks you to perform every minute, choosing to slow down and care for yourself is a quiet refusal
but self care was never meant to mean self sufficiency
no one heals alone // the people who get to the other side of it almost always had somebody extend a helping hand
so wear aether veil // mark your days // build the ritual that makes the week feel like it belongs to you
and if the ritual is not enough, which for some of us it will not be, that is not a failure of the ritual and it is not a failure of you // it means the thing you are carrying is bigger than a good habit, and it deserves bigger help
call the number // text the line // tell one person
stay
988 // call or text, 24 hours a day // 988lifeline.org
text TWLOHA to 741741 // crisis text line